Confused

Angeteen

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, and by the looks of it, I probably never will. However, until such time occurs, please be glad that I'm not the one in charge of writing the script.

Alone in her room, Ruki was laying face down on her bed, feeling worse than words could describe. She had just discovered that Renamon was not as much of a partner as she thought she was. Bunching her right hand into a fist, she hit her pillow with all of her might.

The sound of impact was muffled as her hand struck. Pulling it to her side, Ruki turned over slightly, and sulked. While she was brooding over what had happened, the sound of her trashcan falling over brought her to attention.

Turning around, she was just in time to see Calumon rolling out of it, with her digivise clutched in his arms. "Why did you throw this away?" he asked her, holding it up for her to see. "What are you doing here?" Ruki demanded. "I'm sorry" he apologized "I just noticed that you felt kind of down, so I decided to try and cheer you up."

"You can do that by leaving me alone" she said, turning her back towards him. Calamon was a really depressed about how Ruki was acting, but he decided that it was wise not to bother her. Feeling downcast, he dropped her digivise, and left. As he left, unknown to anyone else, tears began to slowly flow down Ruki's cheek.

***

The next few days at school, Ruki wasn't quite herself. At first everyone paid no attention to her, knowing how moody Ruki usually was, but after a few days, they all soon began to notice it. When someone spoke to her, instead of ignoring them as usual, she completely avoided eye contact.

A few of her teachers tried to help her, but there wasn't much any of them could do. All they managed to get from her was a mumbled "everything's fine" and then Ruki would look away. After a few days of trying, they began to give up, realizing that there was nothing they could do.

There was talk, however, of sending her to a psychiatrist, but that was quickly rejected when her mother found out. It seemed, everyone realized, that Ruki was going to be this way for quite some time until she felt like sharing her feelings with others. Until then, there was nothing anyone could do, but watch.

***

After school was over, Ruki began her walk home. Her footsteps were slow and steady, showing no real sign of wanting to go where she was going. Finally, after trying to delay her destination as much as possible, she was home. Ruki somehow felt the bottom go out of her stomach.

Feeling like someone who was on death row, she made her way to the door and opened it. After throwing her stuff inside of her room, she went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Bringing out a wrapped up sandwich, she ate it with little concern for anything else.

Letting her eyes roam about, she wondered where he grandmother was? After finishing her meager dinner, she was about to head towards the front door, but was stopped by a familiar voice. "Would you care to stay for a while?" she heard Renamon say behind her.

Shuddering slightly, Ruki said "no" in a feeble, almost terrified sort of way. She immediately wished she had just remained quiet. "I am sorry Rika" Renamon said with mock sympathy. "Did I scare you?" Ruki didn't even want to answer that question.

All she wanted to do right now was to put as much distance between herself and Renamon as possible. Taking a look at the door, she toyed with the idea of running towards it, but she knew she wouldn't even make it half way before Renamon caught her.

Sighing inward, she tried to calm herself. "No, you didn't scare me" she said, this time trying not to let the fear show in her voice. "I was just surprised by your sudden appearance." "So you're honored for me to be around you?" Renamon asked, going even deeper into the game she was playing.

"I feel so thrilled. I have no idea how to show you my pleasure." Ruki grimaced slightly at the word "pleasure." She was more than sure that whatever Renamon had in mind she wouldn't like doing much less participating in.

"There's no need to show me how glad you are" Ruki said, beginning her walk to the door. Rushing forward at top-speed, Renamon grabbed Ruki by the shoulders, and hulled her off the ground. Bringing her mouth close to her ear, she whispered lightly "don't worry so much about it. I'm sure the two of us are going to have a "fun" time together." Before Ruki could do anything else, Renamon carried her off to her bedroom, and closed the door.

***

Takato was at Guilmon's usual hideout. With him were Henry and Terrimon. They all met to play cards and to disuse Ruki's current change of behavior. So far everyone believed that something bad must have happened. However, what that bad thing was, none of them had the slightest clue.

At the moment, the most obvious problem seemed to be Ruki losing faith in her partner. Surely that must be it. After all...what else could it be? After forcing Takato to sacrifice his Meramon card, a light knock was heard from below.

Looking down, to everyone's great surprise, Ruki was standing on the ground. "Hey Ruki" Takato called out, "what are you doing down there?" Ruki looked around nervously, almost as if she was expecting someone to be there. "It doesn't matter," she said. "Can I just come up?"

Moving aside, everyone gave Ruki some room. "Where's Renamon?" Guilmon asked, sitting across from her. "I don't know where she is" Ruki replied "and I don't care either." "Are you still holding a grudge against her just because you suspect she's only using you to get stronger?"

"That's not why I'm trying to avoid her," Ruki shouted, before she shriveled up into a small, silent ball and wept. Everyone stared at her in mute surprise. Never in their life had they ever seen Ruki cry. Then again, most of them didn't even think she was capable of such a thing.

"What's wrong?" Terrimon asked. After wiping a few tears from her face, she started to regain some of her composure. "It's Renamon" she said, her voice almost to the breaking point. "She...she's not exactly the kind of partner I thought she was."

Everyone leaned closer in order not to miss a word of what was being said. Continuing on with her dialect, Ruki said "remember that day when I first thought she just wanted me so she could become stronger? Well I'm not sure if I was right or not, but Renamon was offended by this, and she did something about it."

At this part, Ruki almost broke down back into tears, but she stopped herself just in time. "Latter that night, when I was preparing for bed, she...did something she shouldn't have." "What was it?" Lee asked. If Ruki's face weren't already red from crying, it would have surely been so from embarrassment.

"She forced me down onto the floor. Then she started removing my cloths before doing something I prefer not to talk about right now. After it was over, I recall very little other than climbing back into bed and crying myself to sleep." Everyone stared at her with their mouths hanging open. Not a word was spoken. Not a breath was breathed. It was almost impossible to believe what Ruki was saying.

Finally, after several moments of this awkward silence, Takato was the first one to say something. "Well it seems to me that we all should do something about it. I mean, this is something I didn't think a digimon would normally do."

"Your not the only one" Ruki said, rubbing her bare arms. "I guess it's partly my fault. If I hadn't treated Renamon so badly, perhaps this would never have happened. "Ruki" Takato said gently. "It's not your fault. No matter what you say, it's not your fault. What you've done before may have been short sighted, but still, Renamon molesting you is not your fault. You had no idea she was going to take things as far as she did, and even had you known, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it."

Ruki didn't say anything. She just stared at her hands in helplessness. Takato let out a sigh of his own, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to help Ruki with just his words. Ruki finally looked back up at him. "you're right. We need to do something about this. The only question is what?"

There was a brief moment of silence. Then, at last, Terrimon said, "maybe we could all ambush her." "I don't thing that's going to work Lee said. If we're going to do things, we might as well do them right. I say that we confront her and bring out the fact that we all know what she did, and that all of us will stand firmly behind Ruki. After that, we may be able to wing things from there."

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Ruki said. "I mean, she's probably stronger than all of you." "That is when your helping her" Takato reminded her. Ruki's didn't show any noticeable effect of cheering up. "No, I don't think so. We're just going to have to wait until her guard is down before doing anything else. I think that I'm the only one who can do this, seeing as how I'm usually around her."

"What are you going to do?" Takato asked. Ruki shrugged. "I haven't the faintest, but I'm still going to try to come up with something." Not saying another word, Ruki began to slowly move towards the entrance of Guilmon's hideout. After slipping out, everyone could hear the sound of her footsteps as they slowly began to fade away. As everyone sat there, they never knew what thoughts were going through Ruki's mind. Thoughts, that in the end, would affect things more than one would imagine.

***

Latter that day, just as the house was getting quiet and peaceful, Ruki was ready to set her plan into action. It would work, she was sure of it. If it didn't...she decided not to think about that. All she had to go on was this last thread of hope, and if it broke, everything else would precede it.

Trying to calm herself down, she took out some of her homework, and busied herself with it. It didn't help to erase fully what she was preparing herself to go through, but at least it helped to provide a way to keep her mind occupied long enough so she wouldn't be concentrating on just her current problems.

Finally, after about an hour's worth of study, she felt a furry hand caress the side of her face. She shuddered in fear. A cold, damp sweat suddenly stood out from her forehead. Renamon, who was of course standing beside her, leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.

"I think it's time you took a study break," she whispered. Trying to keep her breathing under control, Ruki kept her face looking forwards as she asked, "why are you doing this?" Behind her, Renamon laughed softly.

"I just happened to realize that if you weren't going to make a very impressive tamer, I decided why not put you to use as something else? You see, Ruki, I just can't stand to leave you. That's why I'm here. Since you don't want to be a tamer, I guess your current position will have to do."

Already knowing what was coming, Ruki did the best she could to prepare herself for what was about to happen. After Renamon placed her hands on Ruki's waist, she hauled her up into the air, and gently tossed her onto her bed. Quickly Ruki scrambled upwards until her right arm was against her pillow.

Renamon just smiled as she looked down at her small, petite frame. She moved closer until she was just about a foot from where Ruki lay. Kneeling down, she started to undress her tamer. Ruki tried to do as little as she could, in the hopes that the plan she had created would work. As soon as all of her cloths were gone, and all that she had on was a pair of socks, Renamon lowered her head just a little to her waistline.

Ruki had always hated this part. Not only that, she hated it even more when she was forced to do it back to her. Since Renamon first started this fiasco, Ruki had always felt like ending it all. Now, however, she knew her time had come. It was time to put her plan into action.

Before Renamon was able to proceed with her usual deeds, Ruki's hand quickly snuck beneath the pillow her arm was laying against. She briefly felt around for a moment, trying to feel for something she had previously hidden there. At last she found it. Drawing it out as quickly as she could, it took her less than a minute to prepare herself for what she was about to do.

Pulling it back, Renamon had just got enough time to get a good look at her reflection in the knife's blade before it plunged into her shoulder blade. Renamon screamed out in a mixture of surprise and pain as she rolled about on the floor and screamed like a banshee.

Upon hearing her screams, Ruki's adrenaline suddenly kicked it. Before she knew it, she leaped down onto her partner and began to repeatedly plunge the knife into her. Twice she plunged it in, then a third time, and a fourth. Finally, after stabbing Renamon for the fifth or sixth time, she finally stopped.

Renamon lay there on the floor, a large mass of blood flowing from her body. She wasn't dead, Ruki knew, seeing as how she wasn't deleted just yet. Staring at her, Ruki began to silently kneel before her. Renamon just lay there, hardly moving, and doing even less at making a sound.

Weakly, Renamon turned her head upwards so she would be able to look Ruki in the face. The look Renamon gave her was one that would have broken your heart. The fur around her eyes was dampening due to the trail of tears she cried.

She looked at Ruki, as if silently asking her for forgiveness. After staring at her partner's face, Ruki began her own trail of tears. "Are you alright" she asked her partner, her voice trembling. Renamon groaned in response.

"I don't think so," she said. "I think my days on this Earth are over. Please, forgive me for what I've done. I just couldn't stand that you were so willing to give up your tamer career. It just broke my heart when you did it. That's why I started doing what I did...so you would realize that you could never stop fighting. Guess I was wrong" Renamon said with a weak laugh.

"It seems that soon after I die, you will no longer have to worry about fighting digimon ever again." "Renamon" Ruki said, grabbing a handful of her partner's fur "please don't die. I'm sorry I stabbed you. I was angry. I was afraid. Please don't die!"

Renamon just looked at her and gave another weak laugh. "So...it seems at last you've come out of your gothic shell. At last you admit that you truly care about someone else. Amazing. I thought I would never live to see this day."

"What do you mean by that Renamon?" Renamon stared at her for a moment, but her eyes began to slowly close. "Renamon? Renamon? Renamon!!!" Ruki shouted as her partner was broken up into a million pieces of data.

For a long moment, Ruki just sat there, cold, numb, and unfeeling. At first, it took awhile for everything to sink in at what had just happened, but after it did, she began to cry for a long time. Finally, after an hour of morning, Ruki climbed back into her bed, and tried with little success to go to sleep.

***

The next few days were all down hill from there. She told the others what had happened. They were all shocked at what she had done. However, after hearing what happened in the end, they eventually began to forgive her. This, however, did little to improve her situation.

She still remained quiet and tended to avoid the comfort of others. Her grandmother tried to help as best she could, but there was nothing she could do. Then again, what would Ruki have told them? That she had just killed her digimon partner?

This would have only worsened her situation by making them all think she was on the verge of losing it. So, in the end, there was nothing she could do other than to suffer in silence. This all happened for about two weeks without any ceasing.

However, at the end of the second week, everything began to change...big time. By now, after suffering from her depression for so long, Ruki was by now considering on ending it all. She decided it wouldn't be such a hard thing to do. Simply walk up to a bridge, and then jump. By the time she hit the ground it would all be over.

As Ruki was thinking these thoughts, she soon found herself following out what she had planed. When she got to a bridge of considerable height, she looked down over the edge. It sure was a long ways down. Starting to feel a tightening in her throat, she prepared herself to jump.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, and tensed the muscles in her legs. The next thing she knew, she felt like she was being hurled into the air by a catapult, right over the edge of the bridge. As she fell, for a few moments, she heard some of the people who was standing on the bridge begin to scream.

As she fell, her body didn't hit the ground like she would have expected. Instead, she struck the hood of a car. The car screeched to a halt throwing her off the hood and onto the road. For the five seconds that she was alive, Ruki just managed to hear the car finish stopping.

Just before her senses faded, and darkness threatened to take over, she heard a car door being swung open. What happened next she had no idea. It was over. That's all that mattered. Her life was finally over, and as for her killing of Renamon...well....this should make things even.

***

A man jumped out of his car. He bent low and expected the child's dead body. Picking up her wrist, he felt for a pulse. There was none. Looking at the young girl's face, he felt a slight tremor run over his body. On the girl's lifeless features was a smile.

It wasn't a smile of happiness, but more of the sad kind, the kind that one might wear when trying to comfort a child whose parents had recently died. As the man stared at the corpse, he couldn't help but wonder what could have happened in order to cause this?

Little did he know, this would be a question that only two humans, and their digimon could answer, but, of course, they wouldn't say a word. But what could one expect? In a world where your friend becomes your enemy what does it matter?

This was nothing more than one small case out of a thousand in a world that neither knew where it was headed or what it was going to expect. It is, in all sense, a world of confusion, and in confusion, people have little, if any, hope of survival.

Well there's the end. Not sure if I brought this story to as great a closing as I wanted it to, but still I did my best. For those who want to give me their response, whether good or bad, my e-mail is at Angeteen@yahoo.com For those who are interested (or care), I have a site at http://www.geocities.com/angeteenagermon