A comedy spin-off inspired by Digistar DBZ. Thanks to all the authors who agreed to be in for letting me write it. This one takes places after we all watch Dark Jester's 'Sora's Return';

The Critics Series #18

Lord Archives' "Red Digivice Diaries, Not Normal" Commentary

(Setting- All the lemon writers still in the cage. Red Rover is being tortured. All and all, a rather bad day.)

HELLRAVENMON- My god, how much torture can one man take?
DARK JESTER- I know, this is just hideous...
CANIUS- I mean I knew Madman was nuts....
METAL MIKEMON- But this is just hideous.
CHRISTINE- It is so horrible....
MADMAN- (Back at the torture table) Do you wish to tell me more about this phantom proofreader?
RED ROVER- Never.
MADMAN- (Places his hand back on the machine.) Must we continue? Fine.
RED ROVER- You twisted fiend!
MADMAN- Here we go.... Madonna's American Pie, for another six hours!
RED ROVER- NOOOOO!
TANK COP- Dear god, what a fiendish torture.
SONIMON- For us as well. I mean we can still here the music from here!
TOGASHI- Well, we need to play a lemon, drown it out.
DARKMON- Please, before he starts playing Billy Ray Cyrus again!
LORD ARCHIVE- Yeah my turn anyway.

Red Digivice Diaries

CHRISTINE- Oh multi colours.

Entry 1 - Not Normal

DARKMON- Is any of this normal?

By Lord Archive

LORD ARCHIVE- Fame and Fortune. Well, maybe fortune.

Rated NC-17 for graphic sex. If you're under eighteen, do not read this.
METAL MIKEMON- Wait, NC-17 means 17 and under doesn't it?

Digimon belongs to Toei Animation Co., Fox Kids, Saban Entertainment, Bandai, and so on... and is used without consent. I'm only borrowing them until they release the next tape.

SONIMON- I'd like to borrow Lillymon myself.
CHRISTINE- Dibs on Angemon.

I hold nothing but characterization sacred. As long as I can portray characters close to what they are in series, I don't care what they do or what happens to them. I prefer having couples being at least being sixteen, but with digimon they're very mature for young teens and more responsible than many 'adults' I know. Hell, they're usually more responsible than I am. Besides, the legal age of consent in Japan is twelve, so the characters involved can legally do this.

DARKMON- Legal age of consent is twelve? Damn I could have been having sex when I since I was twelve in Japan.

Romantic relationships involved: Takari and a little Taira

SONIMON- I see someone likes the Japanese names.

----------------

Normal. To be the same as everyone else. It's been a long time since I've felt like a normal girl. And with the way my life is, I may never feel like that.

TANK COP- Bah, normal is boring. Weird is exciting.

I'm Yagami Hikari and I'm twelve-years-old and attend sixth grade at Odaiba Elementary. That sounds normal, right? However, thanks to the time I've spent in the Digital World, I'm physically thirteen and have more life experiences than most twenty-year-olds. I've hated someone enough to want him dead and made sure that he died horribly. What was worse was that I had to help kill that bastard twice. And I've had to live with that knowledge since I was eight.

HELLRAVENMON- Wild guess, I say she is talking about Myotismon.
SONIMON- Either that or the creator of Pokemon.

A normal girl goes to school, participates in clubs, fantasizes about boys fighting over her, and watches her favorite anime series. Sure, I go to school too; however, my club is formed of a team who can travel across dimensions and has saved the world on a few occasions, I get really annoyed with the two boys fighting over me, and I can't watch anime anymore since I sympathize too much with it.

TOGASHI- Unlike guys, who love to have girls fight over them

A couple of my old friends came across this Kenshin series. One of them simply adores how tragic and cool Kenshin is. Yeah, cool, killing for a cause until you can't kill anymore. I've killed and will probably have to kill again. Will there be a time where it becomes too much and I lose site of what my cause is? That I might end up killing things to save the world over and over again until I'm no longer me-- just a protector, a killer, and a murderer. Will I ever snap because I've kill far too many times?

GABUMATIC- Ok, that little speech is a little disturbing.
TANK COP- I have trouble seeing Kari climbing a bell tower and thinning out the neighborhood.

This isn't something that should cross a sixth grader's mind when she's watching a samurai cartoon. Don't even get me started on Rayearth and Hikaru.

DARKMON- Well she is a big anime fan at least.

In the anime they make such a big deal out of a kiss. How romanticized they make it look. How special it was. How that's enough for them. That is all they ever need to do. They never talk about the thin line that exists between just kissing and doing more than that, a lot more.

BOSS REO- Ah, little foreshadowing.
LORD ARCHIVE- Well it is a lemon.
----------

The wind blew gently over the grass in the meadow and rustled the leaves on the trees in a nearby forest. Tailmon and Patamon seemed to be playing some kind of game. It looked kind of like hunter and prey, with Patamon being the prey.

DARKMON- If Tailmon-Gatomon, whatever was chasing me, I wouldn't try so hard to escape.

Hikari brushed a few hairs out of her face. "So, Takeru, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

CANIUS- Gee Kari, I am horny. Wanna do the deed?

Takeru audibly gulped. "Um, well, you see...."

CANIUS- My god he is actually going to say that.

Hikari couldn't help but giggle, but suddenly stopped when she heard something roar.

TOGASHI- TK's hormones.

Takeru backed away from the forest as Kuwagamon, a giant red insect digimon, burst from the forest canopy. "Damn, he looks hungry."

CANIUS- What digimon would be stupid enough to take on the Digidestined? I mean, they took down the Dark Master's, Daemon, and every other evil digimon in the world.

Kuwagamon flew straight toward the pair and tried to grab Takeru in its powerful pincers. Takeru hugged the ground for dear life as the giant insect swooped pass.

SONIMON- Bet you he'd want to hug something else.

"Takeru!" Hikari yelled out and released a sigh of relief as he looked up toward her. She then froze as Kuwagamon turned toward her, its maul snapping hungrily.

TOGASHI- Bug bites are lethal on that world.

Takeru smiled. "Anytime." He went to stand up, but stopped when he felt Hikari's hands on his shoulders. He sweated a little not sure what to do since she wasn't saying anything. He just looked into her eyes and found himself leaning towards her.

BOSS REO- Ummm how about running for dear life?

Hikari saw that his face was slowing lowering. As if some part of her was impatient, she almost involuntarily lifted her head off the ground. Their lips connected briefly at first, a little longer the second time, and the third didn't seem to end. Hikari's arms wrapped around Takeru, hugging him closely. Relishing the feeling of his lips pressed tightly against hers and his warm body on top of hers. Her lips parted a little and she licked his lips before he opened his mouth. Her tongue lashed against his in an erotic wrestling match.

METAL MIKEMON- So who do you think will win?
CHRISTINE- Does it matter?

Takeru couldn't believe the kiss or how Hikari's roaming hands goaded him on. Her hands had slipped under his shirt and were almost massaging him. His hands were roaming over her body as well. He pushed up her shirt until her bra was showing. He then slipped a couple fingers under the imitation silk fabric and caressed one of her hardened nipples.

CANIUS- hello? Powerful bug digimon trying to eat you?

Hikari moaned. She removed a hand from under Takeru's shirt and unclasped her bra. She groaned happily as Takeru exposed her breasts to the air. She reluctantly let him break off their passionate frenching as he made a trail of butterfly kisses from her lips to her breasts.

TANK COP- heel the Dark Masters could walk over them and they wouldn't notice.

Takeru began to suckle on Hikari's teats. He was beyond happy that Hikari was letting him do this. He didn't care how much this would upset Daisuke, and didn't even give a thought to what Taichi would do if he found out. All that matter at the moment to Takeru was Hikari and how they could share pleasure with each other.

HELLRAVENMON- Wouldn't care about Davis. Hell, I'd have trouble going up to Davis saving Neener neener neener.

Hikari knew why Takeru had wanted to talk to her, to finally tell her his feelings, but his actions were proving that far better than his words would have. She gave no thought to Daisuke or to her family. This wasn't about anyone else, just Takeru and her.

GABUMATIC- Just hope she doesn't start moaning Davis' name.

Takeru looked into Hikari's eyes as he unbuttoned her pants. Seeing nothing but longing, he pulled her pants and panties off. He marveled at the sight before him while he removed his pants and boxers. He laid on top of her and began to kiss her in earnest. Takeru's cock rubbed against her opening but wouldn't go in. He grabbed hold of his dick a guided it into her. He felt something block his progress and held on to her tightly.

BOSS REO- He's right, Davis is so going to be pissed.

Hikari braced herself as she felt Takeru lifting off her slightly, her head nestled against his shoulder. He then thrust into her sharply and her nails scratched his back and she bit down.

"K-Hikari? You okay?" Takeru propped himself up, a hand involuntarily going to where she had bit him. His manhood was still inside her.

Hikari shivered under him. Pain and pleasure crashed through her being in ways she couldn't comprehend. Her eyes were momentarily unfocused, but soon she was able to see Takeru looking at her with concern. She smiled at him. "I'm fine now. Please continue... slowly."

Takeru didn't know what else to do. He hadn't planned on doing this. All he wanted to do was talk, maybe kiss her, but this was so much more. While he knew that she liked him, he was afraid she didn't love him or that she liked Daisuke more. There was no way he could think that now. Not after she just took his virginity and that he took hers.

"Takeru please...." Hikari whimpered.

"S-sorry." Takeru pulled out a little and pushed back in. The pleasure slammed into his head, idling his thought again. There was no use in thinking about this, but just to do it.

Hikari moaned appreciatively as she felt Takeru thrust into her again and again. Her hands were on his ass kneading them, and helping to guide Takeru into a rhythm.

Takeru's body pounded against Hikari's. His arms straining to support his weight and the actions of his hips.

Hikari's whole body was pushed and pulled across the ground. Her small tender breasts vibrated as their bodies crashed against each other. Her mind was soaring with pleasure. Her body was a blaze with a fire no amount of water could douse. Her needs, her yearnings were for the approaching moment, the time that she would truly know what pleasure was.

Takeru's world was one tight but slick cunt and his rod. It slid in and out of her over and over again. The tension was unbelievable. He grimaced trying to rein in the oncoming flood. He groaned loudly as he failed to hold on. He fired shot after shot of hot cum into her and his thrusting became erratic.

Hikari felt his dick twitching and filling her. She was so close. A little more and she would be orgasming too. Her hand reached down and encircled his member at the base, coaxing a few more thrusts and brushing her own clit in the process. Her body arched as the tension in her body became unbearable. With a cry she finally came, her vagina trying to milk Takeru's shrinking penis for the last of its seed.

Takeru collapsed heavily on top of Hikari, unable to support himself anymore. He tried to catch his breath, but her felt like he had just finished a long desperate battle and won.

Hikari pushed Takeru over a little so she could breath more easily. Then she just laid there soaking up the experience of what just happened.

"Hikari?"

"Hmmm?"

"Um, I, ah just want to, um, say...."

Hikari looked at him, shaking her head slightly and smiling. Even after that he was having trouble saying it.

Takeru swallowed hard. He knew what he had to say. "I love you."

"After what we just did, I hope so."

CHRISTINE- I'd really hope so.

Takeru pouted slightly and bowed his head.
Hikari made Takeru look her in the eyes. "I love you, too." She kissed him again.

SONIMON- Now asks if she wants to shag some more.
----------

Neither of us had planned to do anything more that day than confess our feelings. But for some reason it had become much more. I still don't regret that it happened despite that it did bring a few problems to my life. With the suddenness of that change in our relationship, we didn't know how to react.

CANIUS- TK probably knows that he might be getting it regularly now.

We had tried to go on with the following days as if nothing happened. However, when we looked at each other, we couldn't help but think about the moment we shared in the Digital World. We ended up avoiding looking at each other. Unfortunately, Daisuke noticed and jumped to the conclusion that we had a fight or something. He became unbearable for a while. Eventually, Takeru and I were able to be in each other's presence without becoming horny. Strangely, having more sex solved it. I guess that horniness was caused by finding out what sex was like and not being entirely sure if we would have sex again.

HELLRAVENMON- So the solution was more sex?
TANK COP- Great solution.

My relationship with Takeru only further separated me from my non-Chosen friends. They still wonder who their first kiss will be and what it'll be like. I've known what that was like for a long time. Well, okay, Takeru only kissed my scrapped elbow to 'make it all better,' but I counted it anyway. I was sort of nine at the time and I did feel better after he did that.

TOGASHI- Now that doesn't count for a first kiss. Geeze, my mother did that.

I really don't know how to relate to my old friends any more though. They talk about wanting to do stuff I've already done. They get excited about things that I don't find important, like video games and television shows. When they gossip, I'm one of the main subjects-- considering how I'm in a love triangle, have disappeared without a trace on a few occasions, and my 'weird pet cat.'

SONIMON- Hehe, I can imagine their other friends talking about Gatomon in front of Gatomon. I'd like to see her keep a straight face.

To put it bluntly, they're too childish for me. I've been forced to grow up faster than them. With the approaching high school placement exams, they think killing things in a video game or watching brain-numbing cartoons will help them cope with it. I've found having sex does it so much better.

HELLRAVENMON- Oh how come I can't find more women who thinks sex is the answer?

----------

The math book Takeru and Hikari were studying fell to the floor as their lesson turned to anatomy.

SONIMON- Or sex education class.
CANIUS- With live aid.

First was dentistry, and Hikari noted with her tongue that one of Takeru's teeth seemed a little loose. Takeru regretfully found out Hikari had recently eaten some of her mother's health food.

BOSS REO- I guess asking her to brush her teeth would kill the mood.

It wasn't long before Hikari was having her breasts thoroughly examined. If there were any cancerous lumps there, Takeru would've found it as he felt every millimeter of them with hands, lips and tongue.

CHRISTINE- Beats self breast exams.

Then Takeru took off Hikari's pants and panties and began to exam her budding womanhood carefully. His fingers exploring her and pulling apart her lower lips to see what few boys his age ever saw in person. His thumb rubbed across her clitoris making her more than ready for his special probe.

METAL MIKEMON- That's a new name for dick if I ever heard one.

~~~~~
I'm not ready to become a mother any time soon, so we have been careful...
~~~~~

Hikari reached for the box of condoms hidden under her lover's bed. She shook it in dismay, noting that it was empty.

HELLRAVENMON- Boy that but a damper on the mood.

Takeru pleadingly looked at her, and Hikari grabbed his arm-- drawing him down on top of her.

TOGASHI- Bad idea.

~~~~~
...Usually.
~~~~~

TOGASHI- Very bad idea.

Their bodies and mind were inflamed with passion. His dick slid into unprotected opening and pumped into her repeatedly. She desperately cried out for relief. The sensations of Takeru's hot meat inside her were maddening. Her sweet agony finally ended and she orgasmed. Her hands held Takeru's hips tightly against her own.

TANK COP- Like he ever leave now.

Takeru lost it as Hikari's velvet vice became that of silken iron, squeezing and pulling in ways words could not describe.

BOSS REO- How about 'oh god?"

-----

Ms. Takaishi typed on her computer with her headphones on. The volume of the music was a bit high. She paused for a moment and glanced towards her son's room. She then sighed and got back to work on her latest editorial entitled 'Teenage Sex.'

BOSS REO- That's the problem with those tiny Japanese apartments. You can hear anything. Especially the things you don't want.

----------

Ms. Takaishi has known about my relationship with Takeru since after the first time we had sex in his room. She got a nasty surprise when she found incriminating stains in his bed sheets when she went to wash them. She hasn't done anything about it for some reason.

SONIMON- You'd think they try a little harder. Any normal mother would kill them.
BOSS REO- Yeah but this mother knows the kid has ferocious angel protectors.

Miyako knows as well, but that's because she's our supplier of condoms from her convenience store. Fortunately I know her well enough that I was able to convince her to keep it a secret. Part of the deal was I had to tell her some of the juicy details. So I told her all the details, particularly the bad ones involved-- the tearing pain of losing your virginity, the mess of orgasmic fluids, everything. She's still rather envious, particularly since we come in for a ten-pack roughly every other week.

TOGASHI- Imagine buying condoms from Yolei for the first time

We didn't tell anyone else about our relationship, even our families. Partly because we didn't know how Taichi and my parents would react, and partly because of Daisuke. He may be obsessive at time, well most of the time, but he's still our friend and we don't want to hurt him. Unfortunately, secrets have a tendency to come out in the worst possible ways.

SONIMON- Considering they had unprotected sex, I can think of the worst possible way.

----------

Hikari sat on the toilet reading the instructions on the back of the box again, making sure she did the test right. It had been seven weeks since her last period and was afraid this morning's nausea wasn't because of her mother's heath food breakfast.

METAL MIKEMON- Oh man, that is rough.
TOGASHI- Yes you do wonder though why more characters don't get pregnant.

Her watch chimed and her hand shook as she reached for the tester. If it was blue, her life was screwed over in ways she couldn't imagine.

CHRISTINE- And then some.

Tears rolled out of her eyes and her hand involuntarily covered her mouth. She gathered up the entire pregnancy kit shoved it to the bottom of the garbage. She then rushed out of the bathroom, ran past Taichi and went into her room.

SONIMON- Umm she wouldn't just leave the kit in the garbage? I mean, someone may notice it.

She couldn't understand why she felt so upset. That was the result she had wanted. It was white meaning she wasn't going to be a mother soon. She was only in grade school and had no means to take care of a child.

BOSS REO- Except for digimon royalty checks.

"It was negative, wasn't it?" Tailmon asked.
Hikari blinked away her tears. "How did you know?"

METAL MIKEMON- Because you didn't throw yourself off a building?

"If it was positive, you would've called him."

TANK COP- If it was positive, TK would have already thrown himself of the roof.

Hikari sighed. "I guess so. But this is what I wanted. Why am I so upset?"

CANIUS- Because she wanted a slobbering crying poop factory?

"Maternal instinct. You've been with your mate and at some level you want to have his children. Set backs are naturally troubling."

METAL MIKEMON- betting TK didn't have that feeling on any level.

"How would you know about that?"

CANIUS- being one of the few females in the digital world, I am sure she got her share of action.

Tailmon ran a claw against the window, light enough that it didn't make a sound. "I had a mate once. I almost had his child, but that wasn't meant to be."

SONIMON- Damn that would have made season one lots more complicated.

"Wizardmon, right?"

TOGASHI- Really not anybody else.

Tailmon nodded sadly.
"I'm sorry."
Tailmon hopped down from the window. "Don't be. That's all in the past and buried. I've moved on with my life."
"So, is there anything you know that'll h-"
The bedroom door was slammed open. "Hikari! What is this?" Taichi held the pregnancy test box towards her.

CANIUS- Oh crap on a cracker.

Hikari paled. "Um, ah...."

CHRISTINE- Quick say, oh no, is mom pregnant?

"Who? Why? HOW?!" Taichi demanded.

SONIMON- TK. I was horny. And we fucked. Duh.

"T-T-Tai..." Hikari couldn't think of what to say. She was paralyzed from her brother's angry gaze.

"You were forced, right?"

BOSS REO- Oh yeah right. I think she could take most of the boys in the digidestined. Besides, who would force the girl whose cat can take down a dinosaur?

Hikari continued to stare at him.

SONIMON- Wave your hand. This is not a pregnancy kit
TANK COP- I don't think Jedi mind tricks will work.

Taichi crushed the box in his hand and ran out of the apartment.

METAL MIKEMON- Well someone is going to die.

Tailmon poked Hikari. "We better stop him. He's likely to hurt someone like this."

CANIUS- You think so?

Hikari looked down with a glazed expression. "Um, right."

CHRISTINE- How about getting TK safe before he is found dead with a home pregnancy kit shoved down his throat?
----------

Taichi couldn't believe it. Hikari was his little sister, and that little freak had taken advantage of her. He was supposed to be her friend, and then he does that to her.

CANIUS- Oh yeah like she hated it.

Taichi clenched his fist and grinned viciously. His target was where he had suspected, loitering at Odaiba Elementary. "You fucking jerk." Daisuke was floored, literally, as Taichi ran up and punched him to the ground.

METAL MIKEMON- Uh oh, wrong guy.

Taichi then kicked him and then grabbed him, tossing him against a wall. He blearily looked at his attacker having no clue why Taichi was doing this.

SONIMON- Could be possession, or the Dark Spores. With all they've gone through there’s a huge list.

"How could you do that? I trusted you. I thought you were her friend. And I found out you did that?!" Taichi slammed Daisuke against the wall with each statement.

METAL MIKEMON- You wonder why he would go after Davis first, and not TK. They must have hid it well.

"What are you talking about?"

TOGASHI- He really doesn't want to know that.

"Don't give me that bullshit." Taichi kneed him in the stomach. "You forced Hikari, and I'm going to make you pay."

HELLRAVENMON- Kari doesn't seemed like the type to be forced.

"Taichi stop!"

TANK COP- Better hope that's Flamedramon.

Taichi looked over. "Stay out of this, Takeru."

TOGASHI- I'd listen to him. Wait till he gets a little winded from beating Davis.

Takeru gulped. "I won't, because you've got the wrong guy."

SONIMON- Brave guy. Stupid, but brave.

"What?" Taichi glared.

TOGASHI- Ummmm remember that Michael kid from America. It was him. Why don't you go find him while I take a quick trip to outer Mongolia?

Takeru took a step forward, but his knees were shaking. "I take it you found out Hikari's not a virgin."

CANIUS- Blunt.

"What?!" Daisuke shouted. "Of course she is! I've never touched her."

METAL MIKEMON- Little dense is he not?

Taichi's hands let go of Daisuke's collar. "What are you saying?"

TANK COP- I'd make sure I was an awfully fast sprinter before I answered that.

"I'm the one she's been having sex with." Takeru clenched his eyes shut.

SONIMON- Well he's dead. You'd think he'd have Magnangemon in front of him.
DARKMON- To protect him from Tai or Davis?

"You... you... you fucking jerk!" Takeru wasn't really surprised that Daisuke had scream that and punched him in the face.

CANIUS- Well, looks like Tai and Davis are going to take turns beating him.

"You forced her, didn't you? You're making her do that perverted stuff with you!" Daisuke couldn't stop the tears rolled out of his eyes. He kicked Takeru in the stomach. "You raped her."

DARKMON- A little deluded is he not?

Takeru closed his eyes in a vain attempt to brace himself as Daisuke was about to stomp on his head. He heard someone yell, but waited for the blow to come. Daisuke stopped as Hikari once again yelled, "Stop it!" She slammed her shoulder into him to get him away from Takeru.

CANIUS- Yeah she is the weak in frail type.

Daisuke landed on his ass and stared disbelievingly at Hikari.
"Stop it, all of you," Hikari demanded.
Tailmon stood between Taichi and Takeru just in case Hikari's brother tried anything.

METAL MIKEMON- I don't think anybody would be that stupid to go through Gatomon.

Taichi had been staring in shock since Takeru's confession. "Hikari, tell me what's going on?"

TANK COP- I think you already know that.

Hikari kneeled down next to Takeru, looking him over to see if he was okay. She sighed. "Takeru and I are lovers. We've been having sex for the past few months."

CANIUS- And Davis head explodes in 5... 4...

"But... but I thought...." Taichi shook his head realizing she hadn't tried to say Daisuke when he had confronted her, but was trying to say his. He had attacked the wrong guy. But there was something more pressing. "How did that happen?"

TANK COP- Another duh question.

"We've been close ever since we first went to the Digital World. He's been my protector, my other guardian angel. He's the one I love."

SONIMON- That would sound much sweeter if it wasn't to save TK's skin.

"That doesn't matter. You're too young to have sex."

METAL MIKEMON- Apparently not.

Hikari glared. "That coming from Mr. I-lost-my-virginity-in-the-fifth-grade?"

SONIMON- Damn.

Taichi opened and closed his mouth several times. "How did you know?"

BOSS REO- Digimon hentai sites?

"You weren't very discreet about it."

TOGASHI- Most men aren't.

Tailmon crossed her arms. "Yes. Thanks to you and Sora, I had to explain to an eight-year-old about the birds, bees and digimon."

GABUMATIC- Well, a lot of the digimon are birds and bees.

Taichi scratched the back of his head while blushing fiercely. "You should've been more careful."

METAL MIKEMON- At least when you were covering your tracks.

"We try to be."

TANK COP- As TK shouts from the ground, try harder.

"What are you going to tell our parents?"

GABMATIC- Hey mom, do you mind if I borrow your birth control pills?

"When are you going to tell them about Sora?" Tailmon questioned.
Taichi flinched as if someone punched him.

SONIMON- Touché.

Hikari shrugged. "I won't be telling them anything for now. The test was negative. But from now on, Takeru, we have to stop when we don't have protection, understood?"

TOGASHI- Protection from sex, or protection from angry boyfriends and jealous suitors.

Takeru nodded nervously. "Right."

BOSS REO- Should have thought of that before.

Taichi sagged and looked over at Daisuke. The poor kid was a mess and probably didn't feel anything at the moment but sheer numbness. Taichi offered him a hand up. "Sorry. I thought... I was... I'm really sorry."

DARKMON- And TK from the background. Neener neener neener....

Daisuke nodded mechanically, not paying any attention. He could only see Hikari and Takeru. He wrenched his eyes shut and ran away from the couple.

CANIUS- Man that's a bitch. You get beaten up, only to discover that your major crush was screwing one of your best friends.
----------

Daisuke may have been annoying when he fawned over me, but he never deserved that. In a way, I miss the old Daisuke. Full of energy and embodied the worst traits of my brother. Which was one of the main reasons I didn't fall for him. Being with him would've been like being with Taichi.

SONIMON- brutal. The I think I see you like my brother speech.

Oddly, though, being like my brother was also the best chance he had to winning as well. I love Taichi and can deal with his annoying quirks. I could've fallen for Daisuke if Takeru hadn't entered the picture, if I had met Daisuke differently, if... well, there are always a messy load of 'ifs' when something doesn't end perfectly. While I'm sure Daisuke doesn't feel like I ever gave him much of a chance, I did-- I really did. But it wasn't meant to be. I've always been happier with Takeru and I belong with him.

TOGASHI- How about if Davis chops TK in a wood chipper?

The new Daisuke is broken. The crest-eggs of courage and friendship don't shine any more. He pushes through the day mopping about what could've been. It'll be some time before he'll be able to heal and move on. I hope someone can come along to help him.

METAL MIKEMON- A little nookie would help that.

And that is yet another thing to set me apart. Girls joke about breaking a guy's heart. I've unfortunately had to do that. I wish there was a way I could remove the pain he's feeling. It hurts to see the look on Daisuke's face when I'm near Takeru.

BOSS REO- He seriously needs a girl. Other than Kari.

Why can't I be a normal girl with normal girl troubles? Why do I have to be the one with blood on her hands? Why do I have to be the one to break a boy's heart? Why do I have to be more mature than my years? Why do I have the special powers that I do?

CANIUS- Two words. Plot device.

I don't know the answer, and I probably never will. But if anyone ever offered to make me normal, to remove my gifts and my memories of things I shouldn't know, I wouldn't take it. The powers are my responsibility. I wouldn't want to pass them off to someone else and have them go through what I have. I especially don't want to lose what I have with Takeru. I don't need to be normal with him, I just need to be me.

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Author's notes:

The one thing I can't stand as an intellectual pervert are lemons with no plot. Surprisingly Digimon has a large percentage of hentai fanficts with actual plot. But then, a fair portion are also yaoi, yuri, incest, and/or bestiality. Not that I have a problem with any of those, particularly since I've done a tentacle sex fict with another anime series. While there are a few ficts with good characterization, a lot of the Digimon lemons are either low on characterization and/or the sex wasn't entirely consensual.

DARKMON- Well, I hope we got some more plot lemons now.

The purpose of this series is basically this: characterization fict using sex as the main point of issue. Despite being young, these kids have been in positions where complex sexual situations may result, and that is what I want to explore with this.

SONIMON- Woot! Sequels.

BTW: I don't hate Daisuke, I really don't, but part of his character is being rather unlucky. I can sympathize with it. Part of this series will include Daisuke recovering from 'losing' Hikari. Unrequited love REALLY SUCKS!

DARKMON- OH yeah, that's a given.
CHRISTINE- Tell me about it.

Most of my lemons can be found at http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime
The majority of my Ranma ficts as well as a few ficts from other series like The Slayers can be found at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Fuji/9061/anime.html

DARKMON- You must have a lot of lemons.
LORD ARCHIVE- Well I try.
BOSS REO- Great fic.
SONIMON- Oh yeah, though the names are a bit confusing.
CANIUS - yeah like Tailmon. though it fits. She does have some nice tail.
GABUMATIC- Anyway sounds like a lull in the torture. (Looks over to Madman and Red Rover)
MADMAN- Still not talking?
RED ROVER- No.... Achy Breaky Heart will not make me submit.
MADMAN- Fine. I got the best on N'Sync here. Let's see how long you last under that! (A blast of energy comes from the side, destroying the CD. And N'SYNC along with it. Thank God.) What the HELL, who dares disturb the MADMAN!"
BAHAMUTX- I do. (Fanfare plays in background._ The other proofreader in town.
NARRATOR- BahamutX shows himself. but who will be more powerful? And what of the lemon writers? Will they survive this clash of titans? Tune in next time for The Critics Series!
BAHAMUTX- Does he always go on like that?
MADMAN. Yeah.... Guess we have to do the whole battle now.
BAHAMUTX- Nah, we have to wait for the next lemon.
MADMAN- Or right.... I'll break out the digimon card game till then.

And that was the continuation of what is now called Madman's Critics series. And grats to Gabumatic and DigimonSH for figuring out whom the Mysterious Man was. Thanks to Jodan, DigimonSH, Dark Jester, SonimodB, Togashi, Metal Mikemon, Jodan, Tank Cop, Hellravenmon, Darkmon, Lord Archive, Christine, Canius, Gabumatic, and Boss Reo. Any comments, requests, question, writing tips, etc, e-mail me at mrredrover@hotmail.com.