A-Sides
Lasagna
By Wisemon
Digimon is the property of Toei Animation. This isn’t a story; this is a helpful appendix to my “Season 4: Wisemon’s Alternate Ending” series, my sequel series, and my “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” single. Since this is also a single (of sorts), I’m putting it in the A-sides. The following is a timeline that attempts to hold together all four seasons along with my own tangled web of an epic. A timeline of this sort is a multi-layered document, hence the title, “Lasagna.”
Jyou Kido is born. The Real Ghostbusters airs its first episode, “Ghosts ‘R Us.”
Note: I realize that the American version of Jyou (Joe) is said to only be sixteen by the time of Season 2. However, he claims to be an upperclassman in Season 1, which would have made him at least fourteen at the time, circa 1999-2000.
Taichi Kamiya is born. Metallica’s “…And Justice for All” is released.
Sora Takenouchi is born. R.E.M.’s “Green” is released.
Yamato Ishida is born. The Who’s “Who’s Better, Who’s Best” is released.
Mimi Tachikawa is born. Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” is released.
Koushiro “Izzy” Izumi is born. Bad Religion’s “No Control” is released.
Ryo Akiyama is born. Duran Duran’s “Decade: Greatest Hits” is released.
Azeli “Hazy” Kannabi is born.
Junpei Shibayama is born. Foo Fighters’ “In Your Honor” is released exactly fourteen years later.
Takato Matsuki is born. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ “Into the Great Wide Open” is released.
Jeri Katou is born. Paul Reubens (“Pee-wee Herman”) is arrested for masturbating in an adult movie theater.
Kazu Shioda is born. Pearl Jam’s “Ten” is released.
Rika Nonaka is born. Nirvana’s “Nevermind” is released.
Miyako Inoue is born. The Real Ghostbusters’ last episode, “20,000 Leagues Under the Street,” is aired.
Henry Wong is born. Soundgarden’s “Badmotorfinger” is released.
Kouji Minamoto and Kouichi Kimura are born. Kurt Cobain commits suicide exactly two years later.
Kenta Kitagawa is born. “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Off the Deep End” is released.
Izumi Orimoto
is born. Mayor Bradley lifts the curfew
to signify the official end of the
Takuya Kanbara is born. Gin Blossoms’ “New Miserable Experience” is released.
Ken Ichijouji
is born.
Daisuke Motomiya is born. Rage Against the Machine’s self-titled album is released.
Tomoki Himi and Cody Hida are born. “End of the Line,” the last episode of the (supposed at the time) last season of Digimon, airs eight years later.
Suzie Wong is born. Stone Temple Pilots’ “Tiny Music…Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop” is released.
Al Gore orders the construction of an alternate internet, maintained on several hundred computers, to backup his first internet. The digital world spawns from this alternate internet, just as the Digital World spawned from the original internet. The Offspring’s “Ixnay on the Hombre” is released.
August, 1999:
Apocalymon is defeated.
Ryo and Ken defeat Millenniummon. After the battle, Daemon sends Ryo to the real dimension. A.F.I.’s “The Art of Drowning” is released.
Izumi, her mom, and her mom’s boyfriend
move to
2001:
This year sucks…almost as badly as the next one.
Junpei tests out his self-taught maneuvers on his tormentors. Henry beats up the neighborhood bully, and Sensei orders him not to use karate outside of class again. Audioslave’s self-titled album is released.
June 2003:
Takuya meets Hazy. Kouji teaches Henry a lethal pressure point punch. Junpei teaches Kenta his “Junpei Trap.”
Takuya, Kouji, Kouichi, Junpei, Izumi, and Tomoki enter the digital world.
Yutaka hides out at Denaka’s and Erichi’s apartments to avoid the inquisitive police who are searching for Tomoki.
October 2003:
The D-Reaper is defeated. Takato and Jeri officially become more than friends.
December 2003:
The D-Reaper is not defeated. Takato seals the portal with a large rock. The original internet goes down worldwide; it is replaced by the alternate internet.
Hypnos is disbanded. Fat Wreck Chords’ “Rock Against Bush, Vol. 1” is released.
May 2004:
MaloMyotismon is defeated.
Yutaka disappears completely. Velvet Revolver’s “Contraband” is released.
When Izumi is threatened, Junpei unleashes on Kouichi.
Neemon goes bye-bye. Kouji decapitates Angemon. Takuya gets caught smoking pot.
Junpei becomes the leader of the legendary warriors. Kouji commits suicide. Takuya gets burned alive. In an unbelievable battle, Junpei defeats HellDiaboromon. Per Wisemon’s prophecy, Junpei becomes the king of the digital world.
Junpei and Izumi are wed.
Rise Against’ “Siren Song of the Counter Culture” is released. Yes, it’s good enough to merit its own spot on the timeline.
September 2004:
Tomoki (Chakmon) becomes an expert marksman.
September 20, 2004:
The first digital world Day of Atonement.
Henry defeats Rika in a sparring competition, so Rika never wants to see him again. Kenta chokes out Hazy’s bully and sets her up with Kazu. The Red Sox beat the Yankees in Game 7 after having been down 0-3.
Daisuke gives Taichi’s goggles back to Hikari. Daisuke and Miyako go to the mall (on a semi-date), where they receive their first transmission from Tomoki. One year earlier, I registered for the Digi-artist’s Domain.
Miyako changes her mind. In order to remain friends with Daisuke, she does not want to date him until they are both more mature (and less likely to breakup over something stupid).
Kerpymon returns, but not for long. Tomoki is set to go home after making a deal with Wisemon.
Note: While chronologically accurate (see
Henry and Kenta form a temporary tag team. Rika swears off human beings (hyperbole is implied, but not necessarily the case). SlimeBakemon becomes Tomoki’s companion, and Guilmon’s cubbyhole becomes Tomoki’s home.
Tomoki Shibayama is conceived.
Izumi discovers Takuya’s seeds.
January 2005:
Tomoki goes back to school as Tomoki Kanbara. Mr. Wong forbids Henry from continuing his karate lessons because according to him (and Henry’s sensei), Henry has “anger management problems.”
February 2005:
Tomoki and SlimeBakemon start their snow cone business.
March 2005:
DemiVeemon, Poromon, and the rest of the Digimon living in the alternate real world go home to their natural habitat. Both the Digimon and their human partners agree that it’s for the best, and the humans can still visit.
April 2005:
Tomoki and SlimeBakemon move into a one-room apartment.
Tomoki befriends Suzie, or vice versa. Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith is released in theaters nationwide.
Tomoki Shibayama is born. Disturbed’s “Ten Thousand Fists” is released.
October 2006:
Ryo gets an endorsement deal with Bandai.
Rika drops out of school…and home.
April 2008:
Jyou enters medical school.
Ken drops out of school, assuming he will follow in the footsteps of Bill Gates. Koushiro gets a government job.
April 2009:
Henry enters college, majoring in electrical engineering.
Kenta enters college, majoring in mechanical engineering.
Kazu becomes an assembly line worker.
Hazy becomes a nursing student.
Miyako enters college, majoring in computer science.
July 2009:
Takato and Jeri open a diner.
Takato and Jeri are arrested for repeatedly selling alcohol to minors.
Wisemon predicts a new prophecy, and Bokomon records it.
The D-Reaper’s Chaos floods Sony’s headquarters, and Hypnos is officially reinstated. Control of Wisemon is consolidated.
Wisemon delivers the spirits of steel and earth to their new owners and informs them of their impending duties.
April 2010:
Daisuke enters college, majoring in psychology.
Takeru enters college, majoring in anthropology.
Hikari enters college, majoring in education.
Wisemon delivers the spirits of wood, water, and light to their new owners and informs them of their impending duties.
Izumi turns eighteen, and Wisemon tells both “adults” that it’s time to go back to Earth.
An alliance with Daemon is formed in order to acquire transportation to the real dimension.
The new team of legendary warriors meets at the Wongs’ home. Wisemon tells them how the D-Reaper can be beaten.
“Man, the new prophecy says all sorts of shit.”–Xuanwumon.
©2005 By Benjamin Wiseman