Season 4: Wisemon’s Alternate Ending Series
Part 11: Everything You Know Is Wrong
By Wisemon
Digimon
is the property of Toei Animation. This
story contains possibly controversial remarks about Alice In
Chains, Sublime, and Phish, and modified quoted lyrics
by Stone Temple Pilots. In the last story,
Beetlemon, Kazemon, and Chakmon annihilated SlimeBakemon
in order to continue through the forest.
Meanwhile, three stories ago, Takuya went to the Cloud Terminal to wait
for them. Two stories ago, a distraught Bokomon left
Beetlemon, Kazemon, and Chakmon had gotten through the forest, and they found themselves
in an open field. “According to the map,
this is supposed to be the entrance to the
“Fuck the map; let’s use the tracking feature on our D-Tectors to find them,” Beetlemon suggested. They all took out their D-Tectors and pushed some buttons until they got to a radar-like screen. “Kouji is a little further away, but we should be right on top of Takuya.”
“Uh,
it’s called the
“Yeah…I knew that. Kazemon and I will fly up there, and if there’s a way for you to walk on the clouds, which wouldn’t surprise me in this world, we’ll come back for you,” Beetlemon told him.
Beetlemon and Kazemon headed up, not knowing how far they would have to go. VerticalTrailmon looked on in disbelief. “You fucking idiots, I’m right here! I know I’m hard to see at night, but you should’ve looked more carefully.”
Takuya and Bokomon were sitting at the Cloud Terminal. Takuya was trying to forget that two of his friends were dead, and that two of his other friends had killed them. Bokomon was trying to forget about the “son” that he lost. They were both trying to forget, and they were using the proper method. “Takuya, pass the joint already!” Bokomon demanded.
“It’s my pot; just be grateful that I let you have any at all,” Takuya responded in between puffs.
“It’s born from the earth, so it belongs to everybody.” It had only taken a few hits to turn the formal digimon into a hippie.
Takuya held up a plastic bag full of the small leafy stuff that he’d rolled into the paper. “I had to lift and set up an amplifier, a drum set, two guitars, and a microphone in some dingy bar over twenty times to buy this bag; I own it.”
“I’m sorry; let’s not fight,” Bokomon said as he remembered the sight of Angemon’s head at his feet.
“That’s right buddy, there’s been enough fighting.” Takuya took a long drag, and as he had hoped, a serene feeling came over him. He thought that he was beginning to hallucinate, because he saw a large blue bug person emerging from under the clouds, followed by a petite moth person. “It’s The Tick and Arthur!”
The blue bug approached Takuya slowly, and he began to speak. “I’m not The Tick, but I am ticked.”
“Put that out, now!” Beetlemon commanded.
“I’m the leader; I give the orders, and I’m telling you to get off my case,” Takuya replied.
“Let me put it this way, if you don’t put out that light by the time I count to five, I’m going to put out your lights via electrocution.” Beetlemon began charging up his Thunder Fist attack. “One…two...”
“So, you’re going to kill me like you killed Kouichi?” Takuya asked calmly.
Beetlemon stopped his count. “How did Takuya find out about that already?” Beetlemon asked himself. “I guess he didn’t get the whole story; I’ll have to tell him. First, I have to get him to stop smoking that thing.” Beetlemon resumed his count. “Three…four…”
Kazemon didn’t want to know what would happen if Takuya forced Beetlemon to finish counting, “Hurricane Wave!” Her air blast was more than enough to put out Takuya’s joint. Beetlemon and Takuya were relieved. Ironically, because a girl resolved the conflict for them, they both got to keep their masculinity.
“That was a smart move, Kazemon,” Beetlemon told her. “I’m going to take over from here; Takuya and I need to have a talk.”
“I don’t want you getting the munchies; you’re supposed to lose weight. If I leave, how do I know that you won’t get stoned with him?” Kazemon asked.
“If I was going to smoke pot, I would’ve done it back on Earth, back when I had a reason…before I met you.” Beetlemon said the last part slowly and seriously, knowing that it would get a reaction out of Kazemon.”
“There’s a fine line between romantic and nauseating, and whether or not you’ve crossed it depends on my mood. Right now, I’m not in the mood. In fact, I’m getting out of here before you say something else like that. Seriously, you’ve been hanging out with a girl and a kid for too long. Have a man to man talk with Takuya while I tell Chakmon that he can indeed walk on the clouds. Oh, and Takuya, I see that you’re wearing my vest; you can keep it. I’d probably never be able to get the funny smoke smell out of it, because there’s no detergent in the digital world.” Kazemon started to head towards the hole in the cloud floor, but Beetlemon grabbed her wrist.
“Can you take Bokomon down with you?” Beetlemon asked.
“Huh, I didn’t even see him there. Sure, I’ll take him.” Kazemon lifted up Bokomon and prepared to take off again.
“You know, it might be for the best if you and Chakmon sleep on the solid ground for the night while Takuya and I sleep here. We have a lot to discuss.” Beetlemon also didn’t want Chakmon to see Takuya until he was straightened up. “For some reason, that kid idolizes this pothead,” Beetlemon thought to himself. “Hopefully, Takuya’s illusion is the only one that I’ll have to shatter.”
Kazemon flew away with Bokomon in her arms, leaving Beetlemon alone with Takuya. “I guess I don’t need drugs to feel better,” Bokomon said. “Neemon isn’t good for much, but he always cheers me up when I’m feeling down, and seeing my dear Patamon die has made me feel very down.”
“I should’ve asked Takuya to roll an extra joint for Bokomon; he’s going to need it,” Kazemon thought to herself. “Besides, I doubt that Takuya is going to be using it again.”
“Are we going to talk to each other like friends, or are you going to keep intimidating me?” Takuya asked Beetlemon.
“Yeah, I see what you mean.” Beetlemon changed back into Junpei. “Let me start by defending my actions; then we’ll get to yours. How did you know that I killed Kouichi?”
“I knew you followed him and Izumi into the woods, and I knew what he was planning. When I heard the screams, I figured that you’d probably killed him for messing around with Izumi,” Takuya explained.
“Wait, you knew that Kouichi was going to kill Izumi, and you didn’t do anything?” Junpei knew that Takuya and Izumi didn’t get along too well, but at the very least, they were still teammates.
“He was going to kill Izumi?” Takuya was confused. “I thought that they were just going to fuck.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t going to happen. Anyway, as it turns out, Kouichi was still evil. He had pretended to betray Kerpymon in order to gain our trust. He was planning to take us out one by one, starting with Izumi.” Junpei hoped that he was redeemed in the squinted eyes of Takuya.
Takuya was still curious about something. “If Kouichi’s only intentions were to fuck Izumi, would you still have killed him?”
Junpei knew the answer to that question. “Of course not, Izumi would’ve hated me for it.”
Takuya pressed further. “Nice answer buddy, but what if Izumi didn’t care if you killed him?”
Junpei hesitated on delivering his reply. He thought back to the night before, and remembered what had truly fueled his rage. “Truthfully, if she didn’t care, yeah, I’d probably still have killed him.”
“It’s my turn to ask the questions.” Junpei decided to start with the obvious question. “Why do you smoke pot?”
“It makes me feel good.” Takuya gave the obvious answer.
“The good feeling that you get comes from the loss of brain cells, and those don’t grow back. Also, each joint is worse for your lungs than a cigarette. Of course, cigarette smokers smoke a lot more cigarettes, but that’s beside the point.” Junpei knew that what he said probably wouldn’t be enough to get Takuya to agree to give up his recreational habit, so he had some backup arguments prepared.
“I already know about that health stuff, but we all have to die sometime. Not everyone gets to truly live. For instance, you’re a loser, and you’ll probably never get laid, so you might as well enjoy some weed.” If Takuya could get Junpei to try some marijuana, it would definitely end the lecture.
“If you hadn’t fucked up your head, you would’ve been able to tell that Izumi and I are clearly in a relationship. Actually, we’re engaged, but we’re saving the ‘laying’ for after the wedding.” Junpei was a little offended by Takuya’s implication and his crude wording. Sex was Takuya’s priority, but for Junpei, it was love. “After I saved Izumi from Kouichi, we had a soulful conversation, and I convinced her that I was the one.”
“Buddy, you can rationalize it all you want, but in reality, you succeeded by killing off your competition.” Thanks to his earlier hypothetical question, Takuya knew that there was more than a little truth to his accusation.
Junpei was about to deny it, but he couldn’t. Instead, he decided to use it as part of his persuasion. “That was good; now think about the master debating you could do if you weren’t high. You could be a lawyer; you’d have to fuck Satan, but you could do it.”
“Um, I already have a girlfriend. Do you want to see a picture of her?” Takuya asked.
“Yeah, let’s see her.” Takuya slipped his hand under Izumi’s vest and took a wallet sized photograph out of the left breast pocket of his red shirt. Junpei examined the girl who Takuya claimed was his. She had short orange hair with a ponytail that stuck up and to the left. Her clothes were even stranger than her hairstyle. She had a yellow shirt that exposed her midriff, and red suspenders that connected to extra short blue jean shorts. “She certainly has some natural beauty, but no girl is as beautiful as Izumi,” Junpei commented.
“She’s a bit more physically developed than Izumi; did you notice that?” Takuya pointed to his girlfriend’s chest, as if Junpei didn’t understand what he meant.
“Good things come to those who wait,” Junpei replied. “So what’s her name, or do you even care?”
“Everybody calls her Hazy, because that’s the way her head is most of the time,” Takuya explained.
“Hey, if the state of your girlfriend’s head determines her nickname, I’m engaged to Dizzy.” Unaware of Izumi’s ailment, Takuya didn’t get the joke, and it wasn’t that funny anyway. Junpei moved on to his next argument against the use of illegal drugs. “Tomoki has a brother in college, Yutaka, who I’m pretty sure has been smoking pot since he was your age. When he first started the habit, his favorite band was Alice In Chains. Tomoki told me that after that, he went through a stage where he listened to nothing but Sublime. Now he’s in the final stage, and he listens to Phish. Do you see how the music got softer and less complicated? That’s because marijuana made his brain weaker, to the point where he can only enjoy fluffy repetitive songs that annoy the hell out of anyone who isn’t stoned. Among those three bands, Phish also creates the greatest illusion about drugs by not having a lead singer who died from an overdose.”
“This might surprise you, but Yutaka happens to be one of my closest friends, and my boss. He plays lead guitar and does the vocals for a band that’s the house band for a large bar, or ‘club’, as they like to call it. I heard his band practicing in the park one day. I told them that I thought that they sounded awesome, and they told me that they thought that my clothes were cool, especially the goggles, and I got a job as a roadie.” Takuya took a lot of pride in knowing that his style had gotten him a cool job with cool friends.
“You knew Yutaka; did you know Tomoki before you came here?” Junpei asked.
“I had never met him, but I’d heard Yutaka complaining about his little brother. He actually wrote a song about Tomoki; it wasn’t flattering. Of course, being an older brother myself, I knew that in his heart, he probably loved his little brother. That’s why I’ve been looking out for Tomoki all this time, because that’s what Yutaka would want. I owe him; if it wasn’t for Yutaka, I wouldn’t have a job or a girlfriend.” Takuya held Hazy’s picture in front of his face, knowing the question that Junpei would ask next.
“How did Yutaka help you get your girlfriend?” Junpei predictably inquired.
Takuya had given Junpei the setup, and Junpei had triggered Takuya’s Hazy flashback.
It was four months before Takuya had gone to the digital world. He was hanging out with the band in the drummer’s apartment.
“So Erichi, your parents are really going to be gone for the whole day?” Denaka, the bassist, asked.
“That’s right, we can crank up the amplifier and practice as loud as we want in here, unless the elderly couple next door complains, which they probably will. Still, today is Sunday, and it’s ours. That’s a good chorus for a song; let me write that down.” Erichi, the drummer, wrote most of the lyrics for the songs, a task that he thoroughly enjoyed.
“Actually, I had something else in mind, something that’ll still make a lot of noise.” Yutaka made sure that he had their attention before he told them the good news. “I invited the triplets over for a little party.” Yutaka put his hand up for a high-five, which Denaka enthusiastically gave him.
“Yutaka, you should’ve consulted me before you invited the girls. This place is a mess, and the only food in here contains partially hydrogenated stuff. What about Takuya?” Erichi turned to Takuya; he had almost forgotten that Takuya was there. Takuya showed deference by keeping quiet, and that was a big reason why the band liked him, despite his age. “No offense man, but you’re going to be a bit of a third wheel. We asked you to come over to help us with the equipment, but we won’t need your help with the other kind of equipment.”
Just as Takuya was about to leave, there was a knock on the door. Yutaka got the door, and three identical college girls walked into the apartment. They had long orange hair, and they were wearing skimpy t-shirts and jean shorts. A junior high school girl came in behind them, with a very scared expression on her face. She was in a strange place with strange guys who had bad intentions. “Why did you bring that kid?” Yutaka asked.
“That kid is our sister,” one of the triplets replied. “Because we don’t see her much since we started college, our parents are making us spend time together today. Little Azeli wanted to go to the aquarium, but we wanted to come here, and majority rules.”
“I don’t know if I’d feel right about partying with this extra girl here.” Erichi was the conscience of the band, or as Denaka called him, the “wet blanket”.
“Erichi, for the first time, you were wrong. Takuya is going to be the fourth wheel.” Yutaka convened with the triplets, and they hammered out a plan for getting their young companions together and out of the way.
Meanwhile, Hazy noticed the quiet boy who seemed to be about her own age. More importantly, he seemed very non-threatening, and in the last few minutes, she had been searching for a face that didn’t make her feel like she didn’t belong, and Takuya was the only one in the room with a face like that.
Yutaka walked up to Takuya and whispered to him. “Do you see that young lady over there? You think she’s cute, don’t you? Buddy, she’s looking right at you. She does seem to be a little frightened; you should go talk to her. You guys are the same age, so I’m sure that you have a lot in common.”
Hazy’s sisters were delivering a similar coercion. “Do you see that boy over there? He looks pretty cool, right? Look, he’s coming over here. I’ll bet that he wants to talk to you.”
“Um…hi, my name is Takuya.” Takuya was nervous, which was unusual for him.
“Hi, I’m…they call me…my name is Azeli.” Obviously, Takuya wasn’t the only one who was nervous.
“Okay, I think that you two should continue this interesting conversation in Erichi’s parents’ bedroom,” one of the triplets suggested. Takuya and Hazy weren’t really given a choice. Yutaka and Denaka shoved Takuya into the bedroom, and two of the triplets forced Hazy to go in with a double Irish whip. The two triplets closed the door and held it shut while Yutaka and Denaka moved a futon in front of it. The four of them turned around and saw that Erichi and the third triplet had already begun making out.
“It looks like the party has started,” Yutaka noted. “So, who wants to get high?” Everyone but Erichi raised their hands; they couldn’t pass up free pot.
Takuya and Hazy sat on Erichi’s parents’ bed. “Um…your suspenders look nice,” Takuya told her.
“Thanks…I think your goggles are cool.” Hazy liked the boy, but she felt uncomfortable about the situation. The two of them were being treated like barn animals, put in a room and expected to mate.
Takuya and Hazy didn’t say anything to each other for ten minutes, and that’s when the door opened. “Wow, you guys haven’t gotten anywhere,” Yutaka commented. “Of course, I kind of figured that you would both be a little too shy. That’s why I knew that there was no harm in moving the futon and opening the door. I’m going to do you kids a favor; I think you know what this is.” Yutaka held up a freshly rolled joint. He approached Takuya, pulled his mouth open, stuck the joint in, and lit it. “Buddy, inhale the goodness.”
Takuya couldn’t disobey his boss, so he inhaled, and immediately coughed. Yutaka took the joint from him and put it into Hazy’s mouth. She also inhaled and coughed.
“Now you’re on the right track. A lot of people have probably told you about the ‘evils’ of drugs, but I guarantee you that if you two finish that joint together, you’ll have the greatest time of your lives. What can be evil about that?” Yutaka left the room and shut the door.
Takuya and Hazy took turns smoking the joint. It didn’t take long for their nervousness to go away. By the time Yutaka’s gift was finished, they were saying whatever they felt like saying. It wasn’t coherent, but it made sense to them.
“We are flies in the Vaseline; sometimes it blows my mind,” Takuya inexplicably said.
“I am…I am…I said I’m not myself, but I’m not dead, and I’m not for sale,” Hazy blurted out.
Takuya had been staring at Hazy’s picture for thirty minutes without saying a word. “He tried changing the subject; now he’s just ignoring me,” Junpei thought. “Hey Takuya, there’s a hole in your head, where the birds can’t sing along. I’m trying to tell you how the story really goes.”
With their inhibitions gone, Takuya and Hazy were free to take what they wanted from each other. They looked into each others’ glazed over eyes and they began to kiss. Hazy reached down the back of Takuya’s cargo pants and got under his briefs to feel his ass. Takuya slipped a hand under Hazy’s shirt and felt up her early bloomed peaks. Due to the effects of the pot, Takuya’s ass held Hazy’s interest and Hazy’s tits held Takuya’s interest for quite some time. Finally, they broke it up and they both stripped naked.
Takuya and Hazy looked at each others’ bodies, and they were impressed. They were both very athletic looking. “I know you want what’s on my mind. I know you like what’s on my mind. I’ll go and eat you out a while,” Takuya told her.
Hazy lay down on the bed and spread her legs. “You want to drink from my naked fountain? Go ahead; I can drown your sorrows.”
Takuya got his head in between Hazy’s legs and wasted no time in sticking his tongue down her young vagina. He licked up and down her slit and got a good reaction out of her. He was enjoying it too, because for some reason, he was feeling really hungry. However, his hunger was eventually overwhelmed by his horniness, and Takuya pulled his face out and prepared to insert his dick. Before he could make his move, Hazy made hers. She sat up, grabbed him by the head, flipped him onto his back, and mounted him.
Hazy eased her pussy down over Takuya’s rod. Because of the pot, she barely even felt her hymen breaking. She raised her body, and got back down in a squatting position. She repeated the process, building up a rhythm.
Takuya looked up at Hazy and smiled contentedly. Her body felt so light on him; she was like a cloud, and Takuya’s sperm were going through the process of condensation. He was going to blow it soon.
Hazy could feel her orgasm arriving, and she started to ride Takuya at top speed. “Here I come…I come…I come…I’m coming!”
At the same time, Takuya unloaded inside of Hazy. Hazy fell forward onto Takuya’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. They snuggled for a few hours; their temporarily simplified minds were still fascinated by each others’ bodies. Then they got dressed, cleaned up Erichi’s parents’ bed, and opened the door.
When they exited the bedroom, Takuya and Hazy were greeted by a round of applause from the band and the triplets. “How did you first-timers outlast us?” Yutaka asked.
“We spent most of the time cuddling,” Takuya admitted.
“Aw, isn’t that adorable?” Erichi asked rhetorically. “You guys cleaned up the bed, right?” The “wet blanket” didn’t want to be left with wet sheets.
Yutaka put his hand on Takuya’s shoulder. “Buddy, you’ve become a man today.”
Takuya was done with his flashback. With the aid of time travel, he now had the answer to Junpei’s arguments against smoking pot. “Hazy and I smoked joints and got naked every Sunday. We wouldn’t have gotten anywhere if it weren’t for pot; it got rid of our pointless fears.”
“Fear is a necessary part of life,” Junpei responded. “You think that you’re the bravest member of the team, just because you rush into dangerous situations. It’s only courageous if you fully comprehend the danger, and you never do; now I see why. In reality, you’re the team’s biggest coward. You don’t face your fears; you ignore them.”
“Buddy, what’s the difference? What’s wrong with ignoring fears?” Takuya asked.
“How far have you gotten with Hazy?” Junpei knew the answer; Takuya had very weak morals.
“We’ve gone all the way, and we’ve done it many times.” Takuya didn’t see the relevance of Junpei’s question.
“Did you use protection for any of those times?” Junpei could feel it; he was on the verge of victory.
“Um…no, but…um…um…damn it!” Takuya was bested.
“I’m ready to be a father, but you’re clearly not; you’re more of an older brother. Anyway, you’re going to give me your bag of ‘herbs’, and I’ll give it back to you when it’s time for you to go home.” Takuya reluctantly handed Junpei his bag, and Junpei put it into one of the pockets on his jumpsuit.
“I’ve taken enough shit for today; let’s go to sleep.” Takuya knew that Junpei’s intentions were benevolent, but he was still grumpy about losing his pot.
“Hey, where are we going for tomorrow?” Junpei asked.
“We’re
going to Kouji’s
That was the hardest story to write. Honestly, I’ve never done any illegal drugs. I’ve taken lots of legal prescription drugs, including methamphetamines at one point (oddly enough, they made me drowsy). It wasn’t too hard to figure out who I based Hazy on by her description, but there were other clues. Her nickname is a giveaway, the older sisters, the aquarium; you get the idea. There were multiple reasons for doing this. I wanted her to be easy to imagine. “Hazy” has a similar meaning to “misty”, but “hazy” also describes the mind of a pot smoker, so it’s the name of the leading man’s love interest, like Mary Jane in Half-Baked, except my name is a lot more clever. Takuya’s appearance is another big reason why I went in this direction. If you dye his hair black, take his goggles, turn his hat around, cut the fingers off of his gloves, switch his cargo pants for blue jeans, and change the colors of his undershirt and jacket shirt, you’ll have Ash. Also, Takuya has the spirit of flame, and flames make ash. There was one more reason, the nickname that developed for Izumi. The American name for the first Izumi was Izzy; the nickname for this Izumi will be Dizzy (possibly), because of her concussion. It all fits together perfectly, like it was meant for me to see it. The sex scene in this story wasn’t very good, but that was intentional. Marijuana can “help” people to have sex, but it decreases the performance. Shakespeare said the same thing about alcohol, and it’s a medical fact. I work really hard on my stories, and I’d love to hear some comments. My email address is benjamin.wiseman@uconn.edu. This story was Takuya’s counterpart for “Smells Like Nirvana” and Kouji, which leads to some interesting comparisons and observations:
Will Junpei actually call Izumi by her new nickname?
Will Takuya have the opportunity to fuck Satan, or something similar? The answer might surprise you.
The pot helps Takuya and Hazy the first time, but why do they need it for the next time, and the time after that, etc.? The shyness should be gone after the first time.
Takuya gets his “buddy” from Yutaka. Clearly, he idolizes the guy. Perhaps he chose the wrong role model.
Takuya takes the bottom; Kouji takes the top. What about Junpei?
Takuya has the smile of contentedness. Kouji has the smile of superiority.
According to Junpei, Takuya is a coward; he’s yellow.
In the last story, Junpei said that he believed that only the virgins would survive. Obviously, Takuya isn’t a virgin. If he dies, what will Junpei do with his bag of weed?
The triplets are the same; Yutaka and Denaka’s names both end in “aka”. Erichi is the odd one out, the one who refuses free pot.
What’s going to happen at the
My university email address expires in May 2006, so I’ll also give you an alternate email address (I check it about twice per month):
©2003 By Benjamin Wiseman